I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
I never said most of the things I said.
I rant, therefore I am.
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I won’t eat anything green.
Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.
M. F. K. Fisher
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians – except for the occasional mountain lion steak.
You win some, lose some, and wreck some.
You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
Sometimes in football you have to score goals.
If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
Nobody roots for Goliath.
Champions keep playing until they get it right.
Billie Jean King
Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.
Gray skies are just clouds passing over.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?