\ Tag Archive for "Woody Allen" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 131-135

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Funny Quotes

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
Stephen King

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley

Funny Quotes 116-120

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Funny Quotes

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Bill Cosby

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Cathy Guisewite

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen

Funny Quotes 26-30

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Funny Quotes
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

Food Quotes 96-100

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Food Quotes

Sitting down to a meal with an Indian family is different from sitting down to a meal with a British family.
Roland Joffe

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being.
Franz Kafka

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
Sophia Loren

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
George Bernard Shaw

Food Quotes 86-90

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Food Quotes
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Woody Allen

I won’t eat anything green.
Kurt Cobain

Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.
M. F. K. Fisher

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
Yogi Berra

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians – except for the occasional mountain lion steak.
Ted Nugent