I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Sitting down to a meal with an Indian family is different from sitting down to a meal with a British family.
So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being.
Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
George Bernard Shaw
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I won’t eat anything green.
Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.
M. F. K. Fisher
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians – except for the occasional mountain lion steak.