I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
One man’s folly is another man’s wife.
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.
Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Exercise should be regarded as tribute to the heart.
Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn’t formed in a day, and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.
I think it’s more important to be fit so that you can be healthy and enjoy activities than it is to have a good body.
Exercise is the chief source of improvement in our faculties.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
I have a need to make these sorts of connections literal sometimes, and a vehicle often helps to do that. I have a relationship to car culture. It isn’t really about loving cars. It’s sort of about needing them.
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone.
I liken myself to Henry Ford and the auto industry, I give you 90 percent of what most people need.
We approach people the same way we approach our cars. We take the poor kid to a doctor and ask, What’s wrong with him, how much will it cost, and when can I pick him up?
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.