\ Tag Archive for "Robert Benchley" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 131-135

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Funny Quotes

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
Stephen King

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley

Funny Quotes 36-40

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Funny Quotes
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.
Hesiod

Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley

Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin

Travel Quotes 1-5

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 Travel Quotes

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.
George Ade

In America there are two classes of travel – first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley

If you travel first class, you think first class and you are more likely to play first class.
Ray Floyd

Travel, which was once either a necessity or an adventure, has become very largely a commodity, and from all sides we are persuaded into thinking that it is a social requirement, too.
Jan Morris

You get educated by traveling.
Solange Knowles

Pet Quotes 36-40

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Pet Quotes

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. 
Robert Benchley 

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. 
Bob Hope 

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. 
Ogden Nash 

The world spends $40 billion a year on pet food. 
Nicholas D. Kristof 

Time spent with cats is never wasted. 
Sigmund Freud

Pet Quotes 21-25

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Pet Quotes
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. 
Robert Benchley 

Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. 
Martha Scott 

Dogs are my favorite people. 
Richard Dean Anderson 

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. 
Roger Caras 

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. 
Max Eastman