\ Tag Archive for "Rita Rudner" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 166-170

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Funny Quotes
Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.
Alfred Hitchcock

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope

Dating Quotes 16-20

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Dating Quotes

I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It’s needing people who understand your work schedule.
Jennifer Love Hewitt

I’m not cynical about marriage or romance. I enjoyed being married. And although being single was fun for a while, there was always the risk of dating someone who’d owned a lunch box with my picture on it.
Shaun Cassidy

Last year my boyfriend gave me a painting – a very personal one. I really prefer personal gifts or ones made by someone for me. Except diamonds. That’s the exception to the rule.
Minnie Driver

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.
Marianne Faithfull

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
Rita Rudner

Pet Quotes 46-50

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Pet Quotes
A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. 
Pet Quotes

A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally stopping before it gets there. 
Agnes Repplier 

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. 
Rita Rudner 

I'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears. 
Christine McVie 

There are all sorts of cute puppy dogs, but it doesn't stop people from going out and buying Dobermans. 
Angus Young

Pet Quotes 1-5

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Pet Quotes
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. 
Rita Rudner 

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. 
Rodney Dangerfield 

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. 
Dwight D. Eisenhower 

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. 
Robert A. Heinlein 

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. 
Josh Billings

Parenting Quotes 36-40

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Parenting Quotes
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. 
Rita Rudner 

I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party, what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos. 
Jill Clayburgh 

We expect teachers to handle teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, and the failings of the family. Then we expect them to educate our children. 
John Sculley 

We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves. 
Henry Ward Beecher 

How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted. 
Voltaire