\ Tag Archive for "Lily Tomlin" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Government Quotes 41-45

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Government Quotes

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin

No man is good enough to govern another man without that other’s consent.
Abraham Lincoln

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be.
Sydney J. Harris

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
John Kenneth Galbraith

Funny Quotes 111-115

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Funny Quotes

Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers

Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Laurence J. Peter

Funny Quotes 46-50

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Funny Quotes
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
Marilyn vos Savant

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

Funny Quotes 26-30

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Funny Quotes
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

Success Quotes 26-30

| Filed under Success Quotes

Success Quotes
One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. 
Benjamin Disraeli 

Pray that success will not come any faster than you are able to endure it. 
Elbert Hubbard 

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. 
Lily Tomlin 

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. 
Winston Churchill 

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it. 
Sam Ewing