I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.
Charles M. Schulz
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
It takes a lot of work to put together a marriage, to put together a family and a home.
It’s not that our family has no taste, it’s just that our family’s taste is inconsistent.
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
There’s nothing I value more than the closeness of friends and family, a smile as I pass someone on the street.
To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.
I hate birthdays.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.