My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W. Clement Stone
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
I’d never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
It was just that we had this phenomenal honeymoon relationship that just kept on going.
It’s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married, there is something that is not very dignified about talking about who you are dating.
It’s weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
My boyfriend calls me ‘princess’, but I think of myself more along the lines of ‘monkey’ and ‘retard’.
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
To be as good as our fathers we must be better, imitation is not discipleship.
Undeservedly you will atone for the sins of your fathers.
Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.
You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s.