\ Tag Archive for "Groucho Marx" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 86-90

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Funny Quotes

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W. Clement Stone

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis

I’d never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
Mercedes McCambridge

Funny Quotes 76-80

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Funny Quotes
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.
Jay London

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.
Fred Allen

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
Albert Einstein

Funny Quotes 16-20

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Funny Quotes
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx

Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Robert Orben

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. Mencken

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.
Bette Davis

Beauty Quotes 46-50

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Beauty Quotes

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

The problem with beauty is that it’s like being born rich and getting poorer.
Joan Collins

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
Albert Einstein

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one’s own even more, one’s own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.
Katherine Anne Porter

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Women Quotes 56-60

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Women Quotes
I think women are excellent social critics.
Laurie Anderson

I will not say that women have no character; rather, they have a new one every day.
Heinrich Heine

I’ll always prefer to play with women and hang out with women, and I’ll always be a feminist.
Courtney Love

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
Bill Cosby