The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I’d been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O’Rourke
A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O’Rourke
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
A man growing old becomes a child again.
Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey’s end.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
Arnold H. Glasow
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.