\ Tag Archive for "George Burns" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 141-145

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Funny Quotes

The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I’d been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
Al Gore

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns

Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name.
Milton Berle

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
Victor Hugo

Funny Quotes 81-85

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Funny Quotes
When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
David Brenner

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith

Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O’Rourke

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck

Funny Quotes 41-45

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Funny Quotes
California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O’Rourke

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
Naguib Mahfouz

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

Age Quotes 31-35

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Age Quotes

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
George Burns

A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.
Maurice Chevalier

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

A man growing old becomes a child again.
Sophocles

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey’s end.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

Success Quotes 66-70

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Success Quotes
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. 
George Burns 

Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. 
Ross Perot 

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. 
Harold MacMillan

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. 
Arnold H. Glasow 

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. 
William Feather