\ Tag Archive for "Erma Bombeck" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 111-115

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Funny Quotes

Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers

Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Laurence J. Peter

Funny Quotes 81-85

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Funny Quotes
When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
David Brenner

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith

Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O’Rourke

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck

Funny Quotes 41-45

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Funny Quotes
California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O’Rourke

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
Naguib Mahfouz

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

Food Quotes 81-85

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Food Quotes
Never order food in excess of your body weight.
Erma Bombeck

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
Denis Leary

I said to my friends that if I was going to starve, I might as well starve where the food is good.
Virgil Thomson

I think Australian food is probably some of the best in the world.
Karrie Webb

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.
Oscar Wilde

Food Quotes 61-65

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Food Quotes
Italy will always have the best food.
Diane von Furstenberg

Know how to garnish food so that it is more appealing to the eye and even more flavorful than before.
Marilyn vos Savant

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck

I could talk food all day. I love good food.
Tom Brady

I do love Italian food. Any kind of pasta or pizza. My new pig out food is Indian food. I eat Indian food like three times a week. It’s so good.
Jennifer Love Hewitt