\ Tag Archive for "Emo Philips" - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Funny Quotes 146-150

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Funny Quotes
I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
Emo Philips

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Rod Schmidt

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.
Mitch Hedberg

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
Henry A. Kissinger

Funny Quotes 121-125

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Funny Quotes
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe E. Lewis

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
Howard Nemerov

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
Kevin Nealon

Funny Quotes 46-50

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Funny Quotes
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
Marilyn vos Savant

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

Forgiveness Quotes 51-58

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Forgiveness Quotes
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Bruce Lee

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo Philips

I shall be an autocrat, that’s my trade; and the good Lord will forgive me, that’s his.
Catherine the Great

If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn.
Friedrich Nietzsche

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
William Blake

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Grace Hopper

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.
Bryant H. McGill

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Josh Billings

Computers Quotes 61-65

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Computers Quotes

What I try to do is factor in how people use computers, what people’s problems are, and how these technologies can get applied to those problems. Then I try to direct the various product groups to act on this information.
John Warnock

What I was proud of was that I used very few parts to build a computer that could actually speak words on a screen and type words on a keyboard and run a programming language that could play games. And I did all this myself.
Steve Wozniak

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you.
Daniel J. Boorstin

We demand privacy, yet we glorify those that break into computers.
Bill McCollum