People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. Mencken