\ Best Alcohol Quotes - Online Free Quotes Collection

Online Free Quotes Collection

Quotation For All Seasons

Best Alcohol Quotes

| Filed under Alcohol Quotes

Best Alcohol Quotes A to Z

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway Quotes

A drunken man is fitly named: he has drank, till he is drunken: the wine swallows his consciousness, and it sinks

Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare  Quotes

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Author Unknown Quotes

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W.C. Fields Quotes

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner.  “Much obliged,” said he, pushing the

plate aside, “I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin Quotes

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck.
Author Unknown Quotes

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
Homer Simpson Quotes

Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.
Giuseppe Garibaldi Quotes

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin Quotes

Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.
Robert Heinlein Quotes

Brandy, n.  A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one

part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash  Quotes

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even

reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
Graham Greene Quotes

Draft beer, not people.
Author Unknown Quotes

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley Quotes

Drink the first.  Sip the second slowly.  Skip the third.
Knute Rockne Quotes

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
Bertrand Russell  Quotes

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
Seneca Quotes

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
Jean Kerr Quotes

Everyone who drinks is not a poet.  Some of us drink because we’re not poets.
From the movie Arthur Quotes

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.
Author Unknown Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald Quotes

Hefeweizen.  Never drink something you can’t spill.
Steve Miller, Quotes

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
Phyllis Diller Quotes

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Author Unknown Quotes

Human feet are conspicuously absent from beer making.
Steve Mirsky Quotes

Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!
Author Unknown Quotes

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
John Marcellus Huston Quotes

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.
Don Marquis Quotes

If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.
Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker Quotes

If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your

drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.
Author Unknown Quotes

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill Quotes

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about

Raymond Chandler Quotes

If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least

you can do is to lie down a little while.
Joseph Schenck Quotes

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary,

most men are disguised by sobriety.
Thomas de Quincy  Quotes

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Quotes

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel

all day.
Frank Sinatra Quotes

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W.C. Fields Quotes

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
Oscar Levant Quotes

If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine.
Author Unknown Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns Quotes

I’ll stick with gin.  Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.
Hawkeye Ceasefire  Quotes

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Author unknown  Quotes

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  And try to find somebody who’s life is giving them vodka, and

have a party.
Ron White Quotes

I’m going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.
Phil Harris Quotes

I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
Thomas Jackson Quotes

I’d prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
Frank Nicholson, attributed Quotes

If you drink, don’t drive.  Don’t even putt.
Dean Martin Quotes

If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with

those of any other class.  There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in

to this vice.  The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and

Abraham Lincoln  Quotes

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before.  With breakfast on several occasions, but never

before before.
Truman Capote, Paul Varjak Quotes

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult. P.J. O’Rourke Quotes It’s like an angel crying on your tongue.
Bruno Heller Quotes

Life’s a waste of time, time’s a waste of life so let’s all get wasted and have the time of our life.
Author Unknown Quotes

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman Quotes

Never cry over spilt milk.  It could’ve been whiskey.
“Pappy” Maverick, in Maverick Quotes

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness – or so good as drink.
Lord Chesterton Quotes

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.
Horace Satires Quotes

Not all chemicals are bad.  Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to

make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry Quotes

One martini is all right.  Two are too many, and three are not enough.
James Thurber Quotes

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Lady Astor Quotes

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W.C. Fields Quotes

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two:  those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties

atrophied by drink.
Mark Twain  Quotes

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy,

pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!
William Shakespeare, Othello Quotes

Remember:  “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.
Author Unknown Quotes

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much.  Then again, don’t drink too little.
Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen Quotes

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about

the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of

work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their

dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
Jack Handey Quotes

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.
Author Unknown Quotes

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
Mignon McLaughlin  Quotes

The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.
Author Unknown Quotes

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.
W.H. Davies Quotes

Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.
Author Unknown Quotes

The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as

starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and

exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.
H.L. Mencken, Prejudices  Quotes

This is one of the disadvantages of wine:  it makes a man mistake words for thought.
Samuel Johnson Quotes

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
Scottish Proverb Quotes

Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes

What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!
George Gordon, Lord Byron,  Quotes

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that

makes you want to get drunk?
Jack Handey Quotes

When the wine is in, the wit is out.
Proverb Quotes

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was

also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry Quotes

Wine gives a man nothing… it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
Samuel Johnson Quotes

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey.  Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.
Horace Hutchinson Quotes

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller,  Quotes

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
Galileo Quotes

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord.
Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble Quotes

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman Quotes

Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?
Robert Benchley Quotes

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.
Kin Hubbard Quotes

Where ever I go, there I am.  Drunk.
Rita E. Torres Quotes

Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.
Author Unknown Quotes

You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.
Author Unknown Quotes

Zen martini:  A martini with no vermouth at all.  And no gin, either.
P.J. O’Rourke Quotes

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